Costume Party
by Lolshack-tan
Summary: Alfred runs a costume party. All hell went loose. Human names used, crack pairings. Rated T for swearing
1. Prologue

A/N: A fic from me that isn't a RL rambling, dedicated to my friend that loves Gilbert that much. Warning: Swearing, massive amount of awesomeness (this is Gilbert we're talking about) and grammatical screw-ups.

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><p>'Vash and Lili's Residence'<p>

On a what seems-to-be a peaceful day(ignoring Vash that shoots anything that moves), the doorbell rings. Lili comes down to open the door, followed by Vash that aims his rifle to the door, in case France decides to come over and smooch our lovely Lili.

It was America.

"Hi, Lili! Here's an-AAH STOP SHOOTING ME!" As expected, Vash shoots him as if he's a lion that was about to devour Lili.

"I'll just drop this here! Bye-AAAAH!" Alfred runs away like how Italian troops retreats:uber-fast.

"I'm a hero! I'm impervious to bullets!" Vash, just shoot his head.

Lili pick up the invitation that Alfred drops. A part of the invitation is holed by one of Vash's bullet.

"What's on it, Lili?" Vash approaches her, taking a look at the invitation, that's packed on a cream envelope. On the back of the envelope is a picture of Alfred with his superhero suit...with his head holed up due to Vash's earlier shooting rampage.

"So cliche.", Vash commented. Lili slightly giggles as he said that.

Lili pick up the envelope (which fortunately isn't holed up). The invitation reads:

_"You're invited to a costume party because you're AWESOME._

_Place: Alfred's Residence._

_Date: 23 February, 8PM-11PM"_

_'_Oh gosh, that's tomorrow.' Lili spoke on her mind, as she continues reading.

_"Partner: Gilbert Weillschmidt."_

"G-Gilbert?" Out of confusion, she muttered.

"God, not him." Vash, of all people, responded.

"You know him, bruder?"

"Yes. And by the way, you're not going to go." Lili let a sigh as Vash said that.

"Bruder, sometimes you're too overprotective."

"But the outside world is dangerous, Lili! What if the party is organized by a group of Mafia dedicated to brainwash every attendant to work under them to do God-knows-what?" Lili let out another sigh as Vash keeps going paranoid on her.

She continues reading a small notepaper that sticked to the left end of the invitation, seemingly written by Alfred himself.

"To Vash"

"Bruder, it seems that this note is directed to you." Lili pulls out the stickied note and give it to Vash.

_"If you decided to not letting Lili go, I will send Francis to take your virginity away."_

"What is this, a death threat?"

Lili throws an innocent look at her brother.

"What's 'virginity'?"

"You're too young to know that, Lili."

Seconds after Vash shoots the stickynote with his gun, someone knocks the door. After getting frustated for having no one opening the door (Lili is busy thinking what 'virginity' is, Vash is having fun shooting the stickynote), someone kicks the door. Lili, who was standing right beside the door, get hit hard on the head by the door, and falls unconscious. Vash quickly rushes to Lili and carry her bridal style, while maintaining a death glare towards whoever is kicking that door.

"Learn some manners, dammit!"

"West , I'm too awesome to knock the friggin' door!"

"Gilbert, I think you knocked a woman. Unconscious."

"You DARE hurt my sister!"

This isn't going to end well.

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><p>AN: Derp, this isn't going as planned, oh well. Anyway, i'm throwing out a poll ; should Vash joins the party (not on his overprotective brother mode)? You guys decide! By what, you ask? Review of course, folks!

Rate/Review/Flame, b*tches!


	2. Vash Joins the Crew

A/N: Thanks for dem reviews ,folks! And, as per FlyingSolo365's instruction, I'm pairing Vash with Roderick. .Horror.

WARNING: Swearing (F-word and A-word once), grammar screw-ups, massive amounts of awesomeness.

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><p>"T-That wasn't intentional!"<p>

"You ought to learn some lessons, you ex-country."

"But-" Vash pins Gilbert to a nearest wall and point his rifle barrel head-on with Gilbert's forehead.

"Decide to hurt her ONCE more, then I'll beat the crap out of you." Vash then goes to a barely awaken Lili, which fortunately got no bruises.

"Are you okay, Lili?"

"I'm fine, Bruder. No bruises and all, don't worry."

And on the Germans side, we have Gilbert, sitting down on a couch with Ludwig beside him, with a mark on his forehead from having Vash's rifle barrel pushed on his head, stronger than any bearhugs Ivan can apply.

"Bruder, what are you doing here, anyway? You're paired with that curly guy that says nothing but "potato bastard", right?"

"To give Vash this invitation." Ludwig gives Gilbert the invitation, which looks like the invitation Alfred gives to every nation representatives. Upon hearing that, Vash walks to Gilbert and snatches the invitation.

_"You're invited to a costume party because you're AWESOME._

_Place: Alfred's Residence._

_Date: 23 February, 8PM-11PM_

_Partner: Roderich Edelstein"_

"That bastard..." Vash muttered. On the invitation is a small stickypaper, sticked on the bottom right end of the invitation.

_"To Vash_

_If you decide to not come to the party, I will send Francis to take your virginity away."_

"They must be serious. " Ludwig, who has read the invitation, muttered.

Vash can only tremble in place and snapped his rifle in half when he thought about Francis raiding his house at night and decides to f*ck him on his *ss. And knowing Francis, Lili might get her virginity taken away.

"Vash, sorry to hear that. We got that note, too." Ludwig shows Vash the exact same note from his own invitation, followed by Gilbert.

Vash shudders.

"That unawesome hamburger eating nation MUST get bashed with a scotch bottle to his head."

"Bruder, what happened?"

"Lili, we're going. "

"Awesome! So you decide to unbind her from this un-awesome so-called neutral residence of yours, eh?"

"I"m doing this for her safety.". It was then that Vash founds a small P.S located on the bottom left of the invitation.

_"P.S: You're not going to enter your overprotective brother mode, unless you want to lost your virginity, AND neutrality."_

That day, Vash finds his newfound hatred of Francis and Alfred.

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><p>Spoiler for the next chapter(!)<p>

"Now, shall I buy an awesome costume for you, my lady?"

"Eh?"

"Dont you dare do anything strange while you go off with Lili, ex-country."

"Naah, i won't do such an unawesome thing to her. You go take your rifle, back us up, and shoot any hamburger-eating person you see."

*sigh* "This will be a trip...an unfortunate one at that"

"Shut up, potato bastard."

"You're the one who SHOULD shut up, you unawesome b-"

*THONK*

"Now EVERYONE shut up before i hit you with my pan, and TAKE YOUR VITAL REGIONS."

"Veee~Isn't that sca-"

*THONK*

Utter silence ensues.

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><p>AN: Sorry for the delay guys, stuffs happens (You, APB. You.) and writer's block got stuck on my head. I originally planned to not letting Vash join the party, so it's a bit hard to turn that thing on my mind.

Also for the note, i'm going to make Romano Deadpool-y, as in constant fourth wall breaking. Hate it? Deal with it.

Rate and review, folks. Or i'll send Francis to take your virginity.


End file.
